Fredagshumor, sex skäl att tänka innan man pratar :-) Alternativ

[CurlySue]

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak.
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?


Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:


I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"


SECOND TESTIMONY:


I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentleman who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.


Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."


THIRD TESTIMONY:


My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a

variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the

boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.


I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."


FOURTH TESTIMONY:


While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.


To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"


FIFTH TESTIMONY:


Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?


My three-year-old

son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.


While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.


The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.


I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".


I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."


Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"


"No," he replied.


I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.


Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?"


This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:


"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

[Margith]

Tack för att du fick mig att skratta, jag behövde det idag!

[Pjater]

haha