Jag vill berätta, varför jag varit borta Alternativ

[Wargen]

Men det är inte så lätt....Det började på Valborg. Min dotter flögs döende med helikoter till Sahlgrenska efter att ha blivit felbehandlad på KSS i Skövde. Bakgrunden till detta är att hon har opererats för cancer ett par gånger de sista åren. Allt verkade gå bra ett tag, men innan julen -03 klagade hon över att det "satt något i halsen". När hon sökte hjälp på KSS fick hon höra att det var "psykiskt"!!!!! Hon blev allt sämre, gick ner till 40 kilo i vikt p.g.a. att hon inte kunde svälja längre....Till slut blev hon inlagd på KSS och då hade hon en kraftig infektion i halsen. Läkarna kör ner en kamera i hennes igensvullna hals och gör hål på luftstrupen. Hon får ligga i två dagar, de ger henne antibiotika men kollar väl inte hennes journaler. Hon har myelodysplastiskt syndrom och svarar inte på all antibiotika, varvid infektionen spred sig genom hålet i halsen och det blev livshotande.
När hon kom ner till Gbg säger läkarna att hon antagligen inte överlever operationen. Den informationen fick jag på Valborgsmorgonen. Sitter hela dagen och stirrar på telefonen. Men min Nina är en krigare! Hon överlevde! Nu var ändå inte det hela OK, hon hade alltså en elak tumör i halsen! I förra veckan fick vi besked om att hon har en till! En som galopperar. Nu väger hon bara 36 kilo och i fredags sattes cellgift in för att försöka få bort tumörerna. Vi i familjen är vid det här laget rätt slutkörda, har inte mycket förtroende kvar för sjukvården , men försöker leva något så när normalt. Vi pendlar mellan hopp och förtvivlan och tar en dag i taget.
Naturligtvis kommer detta att anmälas.
Jag känner mest ett stort hat mot de nonchalanta läkarna. Har inte orkat vara på nätet och har inte kunnat bestämma mig för om jag ska berätta detta, men ni på odla har känts som vänner och jag ville inte bara försvinna utan en förklaring....

[Mocca]

Jag lider med dig, din familj och din dotter. Inga ord kan skänkas till tröst. Det enda vi kan göra är skänka er styrka och mod.

När livet känns tungt och meningslöst tänker jag ofta på historien nedan som berättades för mej vid en lägereld hos Cherokee indianerna för många år sedan. Jag hoppas den kan ge er den känsla av samhörighet med livets cirkel som behövs i denna krävande situation.

Cherokee Grassdance

This is a story that was told to me by a Cherokee Shaman named White Feather Is Silent.

Once upon a time there was a little boy that was different than everybody else. His father and mother was very concerned and worried about this and they were also a little bit ashamed of the way he was. The little boy couldn’t understand why, but he could tell by the way people were acting when they looked at him, that he was different somehow. Like they didn’t want to look at him. Neither could he understand why he couldn’t dance and play like the other kids were doing that was his age.

Years went by and he was getting old enough to attend to the yearly pow wow. He looked forward to this, though he was eager to dance and show the people in the village that he was no different than anyone else.

On the morning of the pow wow, he woke up real early and got outside to watch the people get everything ready for the big festival. After the sunrise, the elders gathered around the big drum and started to play. The women started to walk around in the tall grass, to make it lay down smoothly, so the dancers wouldn’t get all tangled up. The little boy sat by the side and watched, listening to the drumbeats, and his body started to move. He tried to get up, when his father asked him what he was going to do. –I am going to dance Father. –No, no my son, you can’t do that, he says. The little boy looks with his sad eyes on his father and then on his mother. Begging. But she shakes her head. The little boy can’t understand why they won’t let him dance.

The day goes by and a lot of good music and many good dancers have been performing all day long. The little boy and his family returns to their tipi, and everybody feels very uncomfortable. When his father leaves, to go and talk to the Elders, his mother looks at him and says –Why don’t you dance for me a little while, my son? –You can dance here inside the tipi around the fire. His face lights up and he gets up on his weary legs and start with some kind of a dance that don’t look like any dance at all. His body jerks and shivers, his arms are pointing in all kinds of directions and he is all crumbled up. His mother gets tears in her eyes, but he doesn’t see this, because he gets to dance!! After a little while he gets tired and sits down by the fire.

Later that evening his mother tells his father about the dance. Neither of them can understand what’s wrong with the boy, why his body makes these strange movements. It’s like he had some kind of strange disease that infected his whole body. They don’t know what to do, but they decide that they are not going to let him dance on any pow wow. There is too much of a shame in this.

The years go by and the boy is denied to dance at every pow wow.

When it’s time for the boy to perform his ritual, that he needs to do before he is aloud to enter into manhood, the village finds out that they are going to hold the biggest pow wow of the year at their tribal grounds. Everybody is exited, because that means that a lot of the other tribes will come to their tribe. The whole spring and the beginning of the summer is one big preparation for the big pow wow.

And the big day is here. Here comes the Apaches, the Seminoles, the Blackfeet and the Navahos. They are setting up their tipis all around the place and people are running around and talking to everybody. Fireplaces are set up and in the evening everyone is gathered around them to tell their stories.

The morning comes around and the sun starts to rise. It is the BIG day today. As always, at the opening of a pow wow, the Cherokee women greets the upcoming sun with their song Cherokee Morning Song. At camp, everyone can hear those beautiful voices thru the sky, it makes everyone shiver a little bit. It is so beautiful. The Elders are praying for a good pow wow and gathers around the big drum. They start their drumming and the expectations are rising. People are curious of who will be the best dancer for the day and who Miss Indian will be this year. It has been a long time since so many tribes has got together for a pow wow.

The drums are calling and the Cherokee Shaman is calling for the good Spirits and smudging and praying. Everybody starts to gather around the place where the dancing is going to take place, and waiting for the women to get out there and do their chores. But wait, something strange is happening. You can hear Oh’s and Ah’s all over the place. It is the boy, that with great effort is trying to do a dance. His father is on the run to catch him before he makes a total fool of himself, but he can’t move. His legs refuses to obey him. And the boy keeps at it, not seeing the disgust in so many peoples faces. His body leaps and hops and jerks and people starts to move around feeling uncomfortable. But, they can’t stop looking at the boy either. And all of a sudden! His movements starts to look different. His legs stomps around in a certain way, the grass starts to lay down real nice and smooth behind him, and his body starts to rise up from being so crumbled up and twisted before. His head moves with the sound of the drum, the Elders picks up on this and starts to beat harder and louder on the drum. His dance gets more and more even and beautiful the longer it goes on. His mother and father looks at their son and they are so proud. They have never seen a dance more beautiful or more powerful than this one.

When all the grass is laying down nice and smooth over a great big area, the boy falls down in exhaustion. His father runs over to him and kneels down by his side. The boys face is covered with sweat and he gets really scared when he sees his father. –I am so sorry Father, I just don’t know what happened, he says. His father looks at him really proud and says, -My son, I am so proud of you. It was the most beautiful dance I have ever seen! The Shaman walks over to them, helps the boy up and looks at the crowd and says –My People, this boy has now entered his Manhood with great honour. In doing so, he has given us a new dance, called Cherokee Grassdance, and this dance will from now on and forever, be the first dance on every pow wow throughout the whole nation, for so it is decided by the Great Spirit.

Mitakuye Oyasin
(We are all related)

copyright: Monica Andersson