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[Airamya]

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?" Again, the answer was, "NO!"

By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun! "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!"

I was just bursting with pride for them. "Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!!!"

[Zarah P]

One morning at work, a man went online to check the lotto ticket that he had purchased the night before. Turns out, he won!!
He told his boss that he quit, and jetted home to tell the exciting news to his wife.
Upon arriving home, he yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey!! Pack your bags! I won the Lottery!!"
She yells down, "Oh my gosh!! Should I pack for warm weather or cold weather?"
He replies, "I don't care, just get out!!"

*fnissar hysteriskt*